When we moved in, in late November, the tree had no leaves. Just a massive trunk with deep grooves, roots pushing up through the concrete. In the springtime, it took longer to show itself than the other trees in the neighborhood. Rather than leafing out completely, it rained sap on my car, as if a warning to keep my distance. I was here first, it seemed to be saying. Didn’t I know that?
By summer, I was so preoccupied I barely stopped to notice the tree in its fullness. I only appreciated the way it blocked our dining room window, making it harder for passersby to see through the panes.
Then in late August it started shedding leaves. Not all at the same time, like a maple in an autumn windstorm, but one-by-one, almost undetectable. Yet every time a yellow leaf drifted outside my window, landing on the porch of our modest apartment, my post-breakup rental, I noticed.
And the leaves weren’t just any leaves, they were shaped like hearts with serrated edges. They were sweet but seemed to be saying, Don’t you dare get too close to me. I understood. When I finally ID’d the tree, I discovered a new kind I’d never heard of before: a Littleleaf Linden tree. The mature one growing outside my apartment, the tiny two bedroom I’d secured in the worst possible economic conditions, on the heels of a difficult separation, appeared much larger than most Linden trees grew. It produced an abundance of heart shaped leaves that, as the month of October marched on, began falling heavier and heavier on the front lawn, on the back lawn, and in the street, covering not just my car, but all my neighbors’ cars, too. Naturally, I took note. Life doesn’t uproot you then transplant you beside a heart leaf producing tree just because. Most everything has meaning, has hope.
I got to thinking, if the Littleleaf Linden tree could put down roots and thrive here, despite everything, like being far away from other Linden trees, and being surrounded by artificial concrete, maybe I could, too. Maybe I could even spread some love along the way, little yellow hearts covering everything.
