They
called
me
monkey
or
fish
Author: Terah Van Dusen
Writer of essays, poetry and memoir.
It is True
It is true
I have led
people to creeks
I have promised
to swim but
have watched
them struggle
with the current
with the cold
whilst I sit on
a branch in a tree,
feet dangling
and laughing
Little Girl Me
Little girl me
wore yellow rubber
gloves Dad bought at
Safeway along with Sun
yellow dishsoap
I would knee-stand
on the vinyl and metal
chair in front of the sink
in front of the small trailer
window looking out on the
ducks and geese and rabbits
in their cages
A kerosene lamp was lit
as the sun went down and the
night would come alive with sounds
Almost every night Dad had me do
the dishes while he would read
to me from the Holy Bible
They were nights I enjoyed
and miss.
Spilled Yet Contained
Today is an
in-between moon
my mood reflected
in the sky
A hot night
turning all the
ladies faces and
necks red melting
the glue that holds
together the teeth
of the man who
loves to speak
bubblegum pink
is the paste that
keeps his teeth
on the top and
his teeth on the
bottom
as for me
I think I’ll
stop speaking
for a while.
I’m applying
for a cashiers job
at the market and
between that and nights
I’ll be all talked out, the
energy settling less between
the sheets–less in the space
I’ve created for something
else, for someone else, less.
I went to a benefit concert
where I bumped elbows and
shoulders and some kid
put on a jacket and his zipper
hit me in the face
Today
Tonight
is a pretty blouse
a flower
on a wrecked girl
and I don’t know if I mean
me or someone else but either
way I’m coming around to her
I Love to Give Not to Greed
Is this romantic business?
Is this business romantic?
Put your worries in the wind
Make
This
Make
Sense
I am again
offering my plate
of sweets and dreams
and no I do not do this for kicks
No I do not
prefer torture
I do not love to
fool myself
Impulsive yes
but I am not
I am not
self-destructive
nor malicious
hanging heads on the wall
like prizes
I am doing this for you
not for me
I love to give not to greed
I Want To Be
I want to be forgiven
for what I’m about to do
to you
catch and release
you’ll be guy number five
I’ll be your girl number two
your first
your last
your mystery
I want to be whipped
into shape
taught a lesson
fondled and driven
to madness
wined and dined
I said wined and dined
I said wined and dined
I said tell me
to put on a dress
I said ask me
to take down my hair
I said
I want to be whipped
into shape
I want to be tamed
lead me
guide me
I want a man
I’ve never seen a man
I’ve rarely seen a man
I thought I saw a man once
but he walked into the day
and by night he was all gone away
I saw a man once
who had It
I saw a man who
could tame me
but he didn’t want a thing
to do with this woman
with this body
with this piece of work
right here
I want to be forgiven
I want to be whipped
I want to be tamed
I want to be a girl
who is chased
but women like me
are so bold
so brass
women like me are
more of a man
than you’ll ever be
chew on that
and when
you’re a man
come back to me
cause I want to be
whipped
hard
I want to be tamed
and pregnant
I want to be
forgiven
Anatomy of a Good Woman
Eyes that open wide
Nose that does not turn up
Mouth that speaks the truth
Neck that holds the head high
Arms that do good deeds
Stomach with high self-esteem
Legs that are faithful
Knees that bow in humility
Feet that travel freely
Mind that dares to dream
Anatomy of a Good Man
Eyes that see inner beauty
Nose that smells trouble
Mouth that chooses words carefully
Neck that strains to see the good in people
Arms that both build and cradle
Stomach that is grateful
Legs that know hard-work
Knees that still knock
Feet that see the sun
Mind that seeks the source
Secrets of the Moon
The scent of the river
emerges in spring and
at night like moon flowers,
evening primrose and the
married-mans thoughts of me
do
Things and people afraid of
the day, afraid of the
light cast upon their flaws
tip-toe to me and whisper
their wildest
desires
Johns and Janets and Williams
all point fingers, tease and mock
but their hidden agendas are far worse
than those of the prisoners
I laugh with the crescent moon
Smile with the dew
and dream, day and night
of this tortured life,
of me,
and
of you
Free vs. Me
I wish
I had
what I had before
I want
what is far ahead
I want it now
I desire
the moment
I had just today
I couldn’t feel a thing
I desire it forever
I need
the emotion
of midnight
I find myself
on my knees
in the dark
weeping a song
I need that to last forever
to not give way
to this headache
this boredom
the song
was romance
and I wooed myself
but
I’m caught in your web
you cast your net
you neglected your win
pulled at my arm
I yanked my own chain
I need
free
I need
me
but I’d rather
you not let
me be
don’t be mean
TERAH RACHELLE VAN DUSEN 