No Title

For how long
can we
trapeze this love?
Before falling
     f
       a
            l l
               i
                   n
                           g
with I love you’s
and titles.
We run from
those words,
playing hide
and go seek
For surely
those words
lead to
   I don’t love you
             any
                 more.

For how long
can we babystep
this desire?
Knowing All-grown Up
desire is
dumb.

For how long
can you go
without
calling me Yours?
For how long
can I?

Hunt

How many would
love to see me
like this
how many
ex-lovers that
I shorted,
traded in
for one another
I am pained,
it is true
my insides ache
my face is blue
my smile frowns
eyebrows down
not flattering
in the least
I strip
I beg
I claw at
the windows
in my red slip
I try it all
candles
scents
lipsticks
I try so
to summon you
with my mind
I beg
I wonder
where you are
I am red
I am done
I am in for
the kill
I am hunting
and you
are hunted

Nest

If I were a
parcel of land
wide open and shady
blue-skied, forested green
If I were acreage in a place
that you loved,
would you buy me?
Pay any price?
Would you try for cheap?
What kind of deal would
you make?
On a place like me?

Imposter Blond

Imposter blond
So good and pure
You took me and
you had me
you bored me
before long
I let myself get
snowed in
white outside
black inside
my cave
You tasted like
water
Imposter blond
Tasteless
I spit you out and
walked along
Could my gut
be so wrong
Imposter blond?

Powerarmbands

Fantasy, much as I worship it,
pains me
at the end of the day
reality escapes me
Love dances around me
I cast my net far and wide
and to the side
confusing as the world turns,
my heart never stops for directions
When my flaws are on display I
feel short-changed and weak
Outcome my powerarmbands like
Wonder Woman
Do you know Wonder Woman
begged to be dominated?
She did

Little Robby

Some people are firestarters
others rain
others rock
women are animals
that men hunt
men are butterflies that
can’t ever really be caught
I am free and I am burdened
I use the fire to get me hot
I put it out when I get lost
I was never my mother’s
not even in the womb
a psychic on Alder street said
when the seed was planted
I was bloomed
I raged out of her fists up and
how do I shake it?
Angry babies are not funny
they just try to fake it
I was always my father’s child
If at a distance
I was a grown man,
a grown woman
I am fire, ice
all of it

Love in Chains

Am I seeing you
or seeing things?
Was it your truck,
your face in my
waking dream?
Place me
in front of you
don’t waste me
It’s not him
It’s not him
I need to taste you
Cruel
Sun
Cruel
Day
Cruel
Life
She wasted
away when
she intended
to take flight
Why crash course
me, why not time?
Why not now?
Do you have a
problem or your
own vendetta?
Why so hard
Why so hard
Why doesn’t loving
get better?
My love’s not
free anymore
it’s bolted and
chained
My desire used
to fly in the wind
now it lays in the
shade
I’m cross
I’m brash
I’m nasty
It’s not him
It’s not him
I need to taste you

I Can’t Stop Now

I can’t stop looking at you now
Peering in when we’re apart
Parting your blinds
and watching you,
grotesque, long and blond
just like you always were
standing a little taller now
you lifted your chin in pride
when I tried to kick you
naturally I missed you
Now that we’ve been around
the block all I want to do
is tuck you in and kiss you

My Friend Soul

I saw my soul
sitting out by the lake
on that old cedar bench
my father gave me

I saw my soul
heaped over like
a bag of leaves
as it wept and
contemplated

I was surprised
to see it there
on such a weathered
winter day and after
the sun had set too

I stood and stared
squinting into the
dark and waiting
for it to move

My soul was
all wrapped up
it was wrapped
around itself
like a tangled
silver chain
link upon link
knot upon knot
year upon year

I could barely
see its eyes
its three eyes
and its head
sticking out there
and its nose
its knowing nose
and its lips
mouthing “hope”

My brain nodded
and carried on
my body yearned
and bucked
and then all three,
brain, body, and soul
surrendered to the
great unknown
I sent out a prayer
for sweet dreams
and joyful awakenings

In the seven a.m.
light the sun shone
upon an empty
cedar bench…
my friend soul had
found some other
place to rest

Nostalgic

Permitting my
mind to wander
like a small child
in a meadow
back before the
tablets and
animated games
when one would
examine the grasses
and discover its
many kinds–
Rattlesnake grass,
Kentucky Bluegrass,
the type with edible
lavender or buttercup
flowers
Nature was as close
to a child as the chest
of a mother and nature
was enough for the
eighties child
Allowing my
mind to wander
like water
around the bend
around the tangible
spaces of this life
reaching and touching,
smelling and lifting
avoiding the flashing
and faux