Your silence isn’t loud anymore
Fact it’s as if you aren’t even here
I’m not fitting into anyone’s picture
but my own
My future a blank canvas, framed
The pieces of you all wrong
I smile, you frown
I frown and I cry
I send a prayer in the wind
My heart is a flame
Emotions a brook
The corners are plenty
and I fear a loss of the little
genius I once had
I opened myself up
I said the wrong thing
I beg silence as I navigate
these sharp edges
I close off emotionally
before you can explore
behind my green eyes
Waves must crash in
order to rise again
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Bottom
What is useful anymore
I do not know
What has value vs.
what to throw
How can it be
given the years
I’ve seen that
the girl inside
I do not know
Settle
He says he likes
confident girls
I cower modestly
in reply,
pull my hair in
front of my eyes
I am no better, I
think to myself
I like them strong
and silent but am
drawn to handsome
and will settle
for weak
To No One In Particular
Adorable One
You no longer
serve me
You are as
strange as a
flower in the wind
Starting now I will
look for strength
instead of Face
A face does little
but cause trouble
reiterating the shallow
laws of society
Your mask no
longer serves you
Arrogant One,
Beautiful One
Boyfriend
He only
loves me
when I’m
looking
but I’ve
got eyes
in the back
of my heart
Like + Lust = List, Not Love
Does love not
teeter totter?
One day you
love him the
next you
do not
Let’s abolish
the word altogether
Reserve it for pets
and grandmothers
He and I decided
that lovers List
Like + Lust
We lovers do not
very well sustain
Love
We lust like hell
and we like enough
to stay together
We only love when
we are pathetic, which
isn’t often enough.
We only love when
you are looking.
Or that’s what
he did to me.
In school, I would
jump from my teeter
and watch the boy
totter down
I saw someone
else do it so
I did it too
I was the
meanest girl
on the playground
thinking boys were
play-things
Teeter
tottering
is such
a rush
and love
a fluke
Change
In my dream
I masturbated
in the corner
as a night bird
flew around
my gnarled hair
A red dot on
the center of
my arm is where
they took blood,
it was getting
black around
the edges like
the old rotting
meat in my
refrigerator
When I woke
I wanted clean
and fresh
Clean and
fresh and
quick
Peace & Nudity
Flaunt
your face
your neck
your breasts
young thing
show ’em what
they can’t have
Let’s just hope
they don’t come
claim what isn’t
theirs
What pale man
is so infamous for
Be yourself
But let’s pray,
cross our fingers
for Peace & Nudity
The Easy Way Out
I wish I knew a
golden opportunity
when I saw it
I wish I knew which
door to choose
I wish love would stand
like a buck in a meadow
and my path
were illuminated
with light
I wish my mind
knew right from wrong
I wish my legs would
find the right gait
I wish my body
knew balance
and timing
I wish I knew
better how to
keep the faith
TERAH RACHELLE VAN DUSEN 