Tag: Relationships

Little Girl Me

Terah Van Dusen2 Comments

Little girl me
wore yellow rubber
gloves Dad bought at
Safeway along with Sun
yellow dishsoap
I would knee-stand
on the vinyl and metal
chair in front of the sink
in front of the small trailer
window looking out on the
ducks and geese and rabbits
in their cages
A kerosene lamp was lit
as the sun went down and the
night would come alive with sounds
Almost every night Dad had me do
the dishes while he would read
to me from the Holy Bible
They were nights I enjoyed
and miss.

I Want To Be

Terah Van Dusen16 Comments

I want to be forgiven
for what I’m about to do
to you
catch and release
you’ll be guy number five
I’ll be your girl number two
your first
your last
your mystery
I want to be whipped
into shape
taught a lesson
fondled and driven
to madness
wined and dined
I said wined and dined
I said wined and dined
I said tell me
to put on a dress
I said ask me
to take down my hair
I said
I want to be whipped
into shape
I want to be tamed
lead me
guide me
I want a man
I’ve never seen a man
I’ve rarely seen a man
I thought I saw a man once
but he walked into the day
and by night he was all gone away
I saw a man once
who had It
I saw a man who
could tame me
but he didn’t want a thing
to do with this woman
with this body
with this piece of work
right here
I want to be forgiven
I want to be whipped
I want to be tamed
I want to be a girl
who is chased
but women like me
are so bold
so brass
women like me are
more of a man
than you’ll ever be
chew on that
and when
you’re a man
come back to me
cause I want to be
whipped
hard
I want to be tamed
and pregnant
I want to be
forgiven

Tear Girl

Terah Van Dusen7 Comments

I wonder if I’ve made a terrible mistake. His Oldsmobile pulls away. Finally. Forever. Just like I wanted. My eyes are two brooks a gushin’. I’ve done it again, and this time it hurts differently though just as bad. This hurt has a dark scent, a full moon and a big, gaping wound that used to be a promise. At least we hadn’t gotten children involved; though we had gotten our parents involved, which is almost just as bad. The sun shines hard on my tear-stained face. I’ve looked like shit for weeks.

Doors

Terah Van Dusen9 Comments

For more than one year
I’d not acknowledged the doors
Now I see there are 6
Now I shut them behind me
Close off the world and
separate me from you
Now there are barriers in
our home
Borders
Lines in the sand
Energy spaces
Thirsty spaces
Now even you use the
doors too

My Self Lately

Terah Van Dusen8 Comments

My mind is a machine in need
of a tune-up
My heart a dilapidated thing, again
And who damaged it but me
The only calm I come by is dawn,
even my dreams are exhausting
I am a sterile girl
with a pregnant body in
all places but the womb
My body is one bursting with life
but oppressed and not-in-use.
The past few weeks have grown me
older than all of last year
The days are dropping like rotten apples
from a tree I used to call home
and I am lying down,
fermented,
achy,
and by choice,
alone.

Walking With Our Love Woes

Terah Van Dusen5 Comments

We all have our love woes
They come in their own unique
shapes and sizes
Often lopsided
Old married couples have big love woes that
make for strong foundations
Things to fall back on
Like joint accounts
and children
Things that make people say ‘oh what the hell’
and stay
Young couples have little
love woes that they pick at until
they bleed
and when they dry they
pick at them again
I let you guess which love woe
I have
I’m walking with my love woes
who put this day in winter?
We bundle up, our faces sadder than ever
and everyone I see
is walking alone

Blue–An Unexpected Love Poem

Terah Van Dusen3 Comments

I thought I had it all figured out
Thought that I had no doubt
I thought I knew black from blue
Thought I knew me from you
I thought I had you to choose
Thought I had nothin’ to lose
I thought I had something to offer
Thought why should I bother
I thought I had a future
without you
Now I’m not so sure
that I do
Blue